Women cheat on their husbands out of love and a desire to save their marriages, according to a new book. She found that, for many of the women, the choice to cheat was not a spontaneous one - but one made out of necessity. Rather than giving in to sexual urges with men other than their husbands for fun, the majority of women Walker spoke to said they seek sexual relationships outside of their marriages because they are not having their physical needs met by their husbands and feel this is the only way to save their marriage. Some revealed decade-long dry spells led them in search of orgasms elsewhere - with the only other option being to leave their husbands.
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And between a third of and half of us think it is more likely that in heterosexual couples men will initiate and orgasm during sex, and decide when sex is finished, than women. They may also feel pressure not to express discomfort or pain. Sexual inequality matters enormously, in and of itself, because women should be able to expect and enjoy sexual relationships that are based on mutual pleasure and equality. The sexist ideas about sex that we identified can also be a basis for some men developing a sense of greater entitlement to sex, as well as the excusing or minimising of men pestering or pushing women for sex. And this means that women are also seen as responsible if their boundaries are broken and they experience sexual violence. And it will be principally her who is investigated to ascertain whether a rape took place if she alleges it. This can then lead to the rhetoric of sexual violence being set up as an unfortunate failure to properly gatekeep, a regret, just a big misunderstanding.
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